Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
