he told me I talked like a deaf person
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
