Quick, to the slutcave!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
