i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
