There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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