please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize