therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
