You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
