they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
