literally had 100 drinks last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
