He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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