i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
