it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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