I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
