Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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