How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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