it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
