Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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