You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
