it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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