Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
