She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize