I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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