hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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