so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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