Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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