I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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