maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
