Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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