I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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