as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
