Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize