Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
