I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize