my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
