nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize