I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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