I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
