So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
