What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
