Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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