So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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