i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
