Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
