oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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