I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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