so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
