The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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