I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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