I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
