Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My penis needs a shock collar
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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