i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude. I can hear the air.
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