I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
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He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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