her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
