I want to stick my p in your. b.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
