Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
