check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
