Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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