But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
