Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
