So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
