We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am one with the molecules
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
