wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
