Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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