3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How does it feel to date your dad?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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